HELMS DEEP BATTLE
by Howl of a Werewolf
Summary: EDITED! Longer and made better. Look me the whole day, but it was worth it :D


HELMS DEEP BATTLE!

**This is a mini story, that still gose towards towards my spoof series. **

Let's start off at Issengod. The Uruk Hai were waiting out the tower for Sarumon, they started cheering when he came out, with a sudden bull horn, he began saying "A ne-"

Suddenly he gets interrupted when the Uruk Hai randomly start cheering. It is revealed that a television showing the Simpsons is being enjoyed by them, they were cheering when they saw the words 'the simpsons'.

"GUYS!" Sarumon screamed into the bull horn.

The Uruk hai turned off the television and started paying attention. Sarumon began his speech.

"A new power is rising its victory is at hand, this night the blood of Rohan will fall, (_Joining speech, one of the is shown Uruk Hai eating pop corn_) go towards Helms Deep leave none alive, TO WAR!" Sarumon announced. All the Warriors started cheering.

Five minutes later they were still there.

"NOW!" Sarumon screamed angrily. All the Uruk Hai started running out the door, but most were running into it. 'There not smartest, but they will do the job' Sarumon thought.

* * *

><p>SKIP TO THE NIGHT OF THE BATTLE!<p>

* * *

><p>All the Uruk Hai had stopped in front of Helm's deep. Including a OC character for their leader, named Hunter. He looks completely different the leader of the army in the movie. And unlike that character who only had small roll. Hunter is the main antagonist.<p>

He basically looks regular warriors for them. With the six pack looking chest armor, and all that.

Except his muscular arms are shown without armor, and have various tattoos, and he uses a machete instead of the swords Uruk Hai's are known for (In my option).

* * *

><p>"What's happening down there?" Gimli cried trying to jump to see over the large wall.<p>

"Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to bring you a box?" Legolas teased. After laughing a bit Gimli said, "Seriously, what's going on?" Gimli asked. Legolas looked over.

Shows several of Uruk Hai's scratching their ding dongs.

"Well… I don't think you want to know" Legolas said.

* * *

><p>Hunter raised up his machete and made a roar, and all the soldiers started pounding there spears. Followed by a song. All the men and elves get there bows ready. The Uruk Hai's sang.<p>

_"WE ARE URUK HAI! WE SERVE SARUMON! WE ARE URUK HAI! WE WILL KILL ALL! WE WILL EAT YOUR BRAIN, AND SHIT ON YOU FACE!_

_WE ARE URUK HAI!_

_WE ARE URUK HAI!"_

Suddenly their song gets interrupted as one of the men accidently fires an arrow into one of the Uruk Hai's. After a large amount of swearing towards the other side the Uruk Hai fell down dead. All the other Uruk Hai's got extremely angry and the battle had started.

All of Therins men angrily turned towards that one guy.

"THROW HIM OFF!" Aragorn ordered, and everyone throw him off the edge.

* * *

><p>All the Uruk Hai continued charging angrily. "So it begins" Théoden said.<p>

All the men and elves started shooting arrows at the Uruk Hai's. And they kept going down like dominos. Some of the Uruk Hai's returned fire with crossbows. Kill a couple elves. And the for a while the battle seemed to continue being that way. Until the Uruk Hai's started using latter's. And started climbing up. But Gimli was succeeding in killing most of them. So far the battle didn't seem all that hard.

But the Uruk Hai's had a PLAN, soon to be revealed.

* * *

><p>A helmetless Uruk Hai was shot in the forehead. Instead of dying he started screaming a continuously running around in cycles.<p>

* * *

><p>The Uruk Hai's started gathering up huge bombs. And then successes in destroying a huge hole in the wall of Helms deep.<p>

All the Uruk Hai's didn't move.

"Get in there you idiots" Hunter said.

"Ser, don't you know anything about war. When it comes to breaching like that, the first people go in there are the first to die" Said a Uruk Hai soldier.

"Your right… But luckily for the rest of us, he'll make a large enough distraction for the rest of us to run in" Hunter said.

"We need some not to bright, but EXTERMILY brave, to run in there" Hunter continued. He then tossed in random guy in as the destraction, who was shot with a thousands of just as planned the others were able to run in.

Hunter brutally killed most of them, and beheaded three.

* * *

><p>Aragorn and Gimli were knocked down going the explosion. Several Uruk Hai's tempted to kill Aragorn, but Gimli started fighting them off. But in doing so, he put himself in danger. Aragorn and an army of elves began fighting with Gimli. But most of the elves were starting to be dead or dying. Because the battle was too intense for them.<p>

* * *

><p>The battle was becoming too much. Théoden began ordering everyone to start falling back. Aragorn heard him, and began doing the same. As did the Elf leader. But he ran into Hunter. He tired stabbing him but pretty mush missed, and only gave Hunter a small scrape.<p>

"Ou god it hurts" Hunter said in mocking tone. Then stabbed his machete threw the elves chest, and it appeared out throw through the back. "HA! There goes your never ending life" Hunter said. Then pulled his sword out.

The elf fell down breathing heavily. Hunter left, leaving him to suffer.

Aragorn jumped on to him. And the two began a large battle. But Hunter smashed Aragorn's head against a rock. Hunter saw a Uruk Hai arrow man. And held up Aragorn. But the Uruk Hai missed and shot Hunter in one of helmet's eyes holes. Hunter tried getting it out and fell off a edge. And died.

* * *

><p>LATER!<p>

* * *

><p>All survivors had retreated inside the keep. I'll skip past the part with Aragorn and Gimli. Skip to where the ride horses and begin a huge final stand.<p>

Joining the fight Gandalf arrived with Foramirs men. And slowly but surely the battle was won. Everyone began cheering. "What took you?" Aragorn asked Gandalf. "Witches, damn their pretty" Gandalf answered. Aragorn took a step back.

"Final count, forty three" Legolas said. "Forty three, not bad for stupid elf, I got forty four" Gimli said sitting on an Uruk Hai body. Legolas shot the body. "Forty four" Legolas said. "He was already dead" Gimli said. "He was twitching" Legolas said. "He was twitching, because he has my axe, INCOUNTERED IN HIS LIVER SYSTERM!" Gimli cried.

THE END


End file.
